I’m screaming, yet you cannot hear.
My voice is muffled by a barrier that I cannot see.
But really, there exists no barrier.
I just convince myself that there is for my own sanity.
Why else would you ignore me?
It cannot be deliberately.
You’re stabbing me with a serrated blade, repeatedly.
It rips into my flesh and grinds against my bones, sending chills down my spine, and pain to my nerves.
You ruthlessly play with my emotions as if it’s a game.
And then I realize…
I’m screaming, but you do not care.
My voice echoes through an empty soul, a body devoid of life, in an empty room.
So loud, even the deaf respond.
But, there must be a barrier that I cannot see.
Something that prevents you from listening intently.
How else can you be so cold to me?
I said I’ll always be here,
and it’s true.
But not in the same capacity
that you’re used to.
My life can only handle
so much neglect.
How you communicate,
there’s such a disconnect.
From the beginning,
I begged for your attention.
Told you that it crushes my heart
when you ignore and, not to mention,
the great tension it causes and how it takes its toll,
on my mind, body, and soul.
They say you don’t realize
what you have until it’s gone.
I don’t want it to have to be this way
for you to finally turn the lights on.
The lights that will help guide you through
a path of easily identifiable social cues,
showing what’s acceptable and what not to do.
When I’m gone, will you finally get a clue?
But, I’m still here, so my continued presence in your life is up to you.
Be the one to make it right before I get the chance to.
Show me that I’m one of the few,
that’s important enough to make you want to pull us through.
Alone in this world.
Nobody to turn to.
Who will ever understand me?
Fragments of my inner core unfurl.
Revealing who I truly am.
Where the illusory smile is no more.
Instead, painted pictures of pain and confusion.
A fusion of depression and insanity.
Of heartache and torment.
Who can relate to me best?
Who will ever give me rest?
A lonely day.
A lonely night.
A world where nobody hears my plight.